Perplexing Paradoxes

I seem to accomplish more when I'm busy, perhaps that's because I have more to accomplish.
Blogging, however, seems to fall to the bottom of the "to-do" stack...partially because I feel like I have nothing to write about- even though there has been more going on. Does that make any sense? Not really.

Christmas was different this year. There were lots of reasons for that...no snow, being in a different house, Hospitality House (HH) going through transition, new HH directors and co-workers in the area, did I mention no snow?... For many different reasons, we decided to host a group of singles (and a couple of coworkers and their families) at our house for Christmas. I was a little intimidated to say the least, but Kyle and I both love Christmas...so, we knew that joy had to spill over onto them- even if everything went terribly wrong. Thankfully, there were no holiday disasters and we had a wonderful family Christmas. I say "family Christmas" because that is exactly what it felt like. We sat around in our comfy clothes and had breakfast together at the table, told stories of Christmases past, opened presents (including socks and batteries), laughed a lot- especially during our Nerf war, watched Christmas movies, played games and then ate lots of yummy food! Despite how different Christmas was this year- it really wasn't all that different. :)

It seems this season has been filled with paradoxes for me. Perhaps I will find a way to unscramble a few and clearly articulate them...and then again, maybe not.

Misunderstood Ministers

Have you ever felt misunderstood? Sometimes is just bad communication, unspoken expectations, or assumptions- lots of assumptions. It seems there are many positions that lend themselves to misunderstandings...being a driver, a friend, a family member, a wife, a military member, a missionary.

I love Christmas music, and lately in my musings about misunderstood ministers I have reflected more deeply on Mary and how she must have been misunderstood. A young girl who willingly follows the Lord, in spite of all of the ways other people would judge her. She accepted the gift of mothering the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing what people would think about her. What a highly honorable position she accepted at a great cost! She truly gave everything she had to follow God: her reputation, her relationship with Joseph, her livelihood, even her physical body and the remaining years of her life. What a confusing life that must have been with no one who could ever fully understand her experiences. How confusing it must have been to give birth to her Savior, and yet to raise Him as her earthly son.

There are many Biblical examples that bring encouragement to the misunderstood and the complicated lives of people. I take great comfort in them. Living as a missionary has been one of the most grueling challenges I have ever experienced. There have been incredible highs being on the front lines of changed lives and watching God provide in seemingly impossible circumstances, as well as gut-wrenching lows of disappointment. I'm sure I will share more musings of a missionary in the future, but I would ask you to consider missionaries or ministers in your sphere of influence. Would you consider sending them a note, an email or a text to encourage them today? Those bits of encouragement go a long way!

Control- Whose is it Anyway?

I have these grandiose ideas of wonderful stories I can write or some witty retort, but instead I sit down at the computer and out comes "See Dick run.". How is it that all of those moving moments throughout the week seem to disappear when I sit in front of the keyboard? Maybe I need to start keeping a list? I like lists. I've enjoyed keeping a list since I was in school. I like to know what I need to accomplish or how completely impossible it is for me to get that long list of things done. There is something about being able to write it down that makes me feel like I have a little more control over the situation. Kind of like saying, "Take that, dishes! You're on my list of things to do and you WILL get done. Just you wait!!!" Sometimes, if I forget to write something down on my list that I've already done- I will go back and add it to my list, just so I can cross it out. Ridiculous, but true.

I don't like it when things feel out of control...it's just scary. This week was completely out of our control. We've been saving up to buy a new car, as our old car is totally on it's last leg. After pushing the car to start it for several weeks, we decided it may be time to start looking for a new one. We were totally excited to find a 2010 Toyota Corolla that was well below Blue Book Value because the guy was no longer in the country and they needed to get it sold. So, we thought, "Ah-hah! Corolla's are known to be reliable cars. It's a 2010, and it's right in our price range. SOLD!" That was the beginning of the craziness. I can't even begin to describe the mounds of paperwork and all the time it took to complete it all...but alas, after almost two weeks, the car was now in our possession. Kyle drove it to work for several days and then I planned to drive it to a Dr. appointment. The car went crazy! We ended up driving it to the dealership and they told us something needed replaced (we still don't know what it is- since he said it in German). We thought, "No worries- it's covered under warranty." Ah, the lovely thing about warranties is they always seem to cover everything except what you need at that moment. So, we will take the car back tomorrow to be fixed.

Kyle and I had a really hard time with the whole situation. We know it's just a thing and truthfully all money is the Lord's- we know this. However, there were more feelings there. Feeling taken advantage of, stupid, self-pity. Ask anyone who has known me in Germany, I have not had good luck with cars. I've lost count on how many vehicles I have driven during my six years here. So, for just once, we thought we had managed to secure ourselves a reliable vehicle. Who knows? Maybe it will be reliable after we get this part fixed. Maybe the seller didn't know this part was bad? Maybe this is just the beginning of a long string of repairs. We don't know.

You know how sometimes when you go to church, you feel like someone told the pastor what you needed to hear? That was us this past Sunday. The sermon was on Lamentations 3:21-25 where Jeremiah is talking about the faithfulness of the Lord. Life is hard- but God is good. We know the Lord has a plan through it all. Perhaps it was to teach me to hold my life, my belongings, my control with an open hand and release it to the One who controls it anyway. We hope and pray that we don't have to learn this lesson again, but for now we rest in God's care and faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-26: 

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  

'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.' The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Wide Awake

I don't really listen to the radio much, but this morning on the drive to work Kyle and I listened. As I was driving home, I heard the song "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry. I've never been able to listen to Katy Perry without feeling a little sad at who she is and who she used to be. If you don't know, Katy used to be known as Katy Hudson and was sponsored by Focus on the Family. Hard to believe, right? Anyway, it got me to thinking about people in my life who were once followers of Christ, but for whatever reason have walked away from the faith. I wish I could capture the deep sadness this creates in my soul. How could anyone genuinely walk away from the Lord? Did I play a role in their disillusionment? Will they ever return?

As I listened to the words of "Wide Awake", I heard Biblical references to "being born again" and"out of the lion's den" and I just wondered where those words came from for her. Has she "fallen from cloud  nine" and is realizing this life of fame and fortune isn't all it was cracked up to be? Since we don't watch TV here and I manage to avoid most of the online news, I really have no idea where Katy is on anything. However, I do know that anytime I hear about Katy I think about her life growing up and what the Lord may have for her and so many like her.

The last several months I have been studying the book of Jeremiah. One of the major themes is "Turn or Return." It has been fascinating to read and see how the Lord is hurt by Israel's adultery with other gods, but He still longs for them to return. He talks about His anger, but also that more than that He longs for them to return. He has given chance after chance and He STILL wants them to return. There are so many people in our lives who have not blatantly walked away from the faith, but have continued to go to church but have "given up on God" in their hearts. They live with guilt of their sin, but they are still seeking- unwilling to make a decision. He wants them to RETURN!

So, the next time you hear her Katy's music or see her face on TV or a magazine, consider praying for her return to the Lord and for the many others who have turned away. Pray for their eyes to be opened and that they would truly be wide awake.

Swimming is a Dangerous Sport

Several years ago, a group of us gals were on a road trip listening to a comedian. I can't recall the comedian's name, but I still quote some of the material from time to time. One of my favorite sketches started out with the lines, "Swimming is a dangerous sport. Sometimes you do it for fun and sometimes you do it to not die."

I'm not super-fond of being in the water- part of that is it takes a lot of work to get ready to get in the pool (can I get a shout-out from my fellow ladies?) but the other part is I hate water in my eyes. Despite my reservations about being in the pool, today was my third swim-therapy session for my knee and it was actually fun. It was even more thrilling to not be THAT girl who was last in every exercise we did. Everyone must have been feeling really slow today, because I was the first to finish almost everything! Can you tell I'm excited about that?

Well, the other two days were not as uplifting as today was. The first day as I crawled into the pool with my glasses on, one of the instructors looked at me with incredulity and asked, "Glasses in the pool?" I explained they were an old pair, but I am just blind without them on. He just shook his head and started teaching me the exercises for the day. I've never really swam laps in a pool with lanes or been in a pool for anything except entertainment or to cool off. Instead, I found myself huffing and puffing seemingly unmoving in the 88 degree water...definitely not entertainment or cooling off! I became easily discouraged as I looked around and saw how quickly everyone else around me was shooting down their lane. As my strength began to wane and I found the water level rapidly rising around my jaw, I decided I had to get a grip. I did not want to quit. I started coaching myself in my head, "Come on, Mel. You can do it. Just focus on your movements and not on the pain. Focus on what you are trying to accomplish." I found myself wholly focused on one point at the end of the pool and then repeating the movements over and over until I got there. I began to smile as I neared the end, partially because I was almost finished and hopefully that meant the pain would stop, but the other part was because I couldn't help but think, "There must be a spiritual analogy in all of this." :) 

Hebrews 12:2 says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith..."We can't be focused on all the things going on around us, our own pain, or even things in our own "lane". If we are constantly looking around or comparing our progress to others'- we WILL become discouraged. So, if you find yourself discouraged, in pain or distracted by all the things going on around you: Fear not! Be encouraged and FIX your eyes on HIM!

Get Over Yourself

I don't usually care too much about Halloween, but today has been fun as I roamed the base and saw lots of people dressed up at their jobs. While I was at the hospital this morning, several employees were making the rounds in their costumes- just to pass smiles around. It was fun. I wonder what it is about dressing up that people think is fun?

Last week Kyle and I enjoyed a few days of pure relaxation in Croatia. It was a missionary retreat where they pay for everything except for your travel expenses. We slept the first day and then enjoyed foot massages and some time in the pool. One of the perks of this retreat is that they bring in Dr's, chiropractors, financial advisers, counselors, etc. Kyle and I enjoyed our time with the counselor where he encouraged us and assured us that there were SO many good things about our relationship. Pretty awesome words to hear from a counselor!

We knew we would hit the ground running when we made it home. What we weren't expecting was the quick arrival of winter! We both did our "I'm so happy it's snowing" dance and proceeded to dive into the regular errands that await you after vacation. On a side note, I saw my first real-life shooting star and it was AWESOME!

God is teaching me/us some pretty cool things as we are doing our Precept study on the book of Ephesians. My "epiphany" this week was in Ephesians 4:2 where it says, "with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,". Paul is talking about living in a manner worthy of the calling of Christ. We did word studies on each of the attributes in verse 2 and here is my literal interpretation of what it means: "Walk with an awareness of the weight of your calling. In ALL ways, have a sense of one's own littleness, being uninterested in self, slow to avenge wrongs, and bear with one another in love." In other words, Get over yourself! Isn't that cool? and a little convicting?

I hope you are taking time today to soak up the smiles and reasons to smile. May today be a reminder to look around and get over yourself. :)

Beautiful

Do you ever take time to think about how far you've come or the changes and growth you've made (or need to make) in your life? I've always been a pretty introspective gal, but birthdays tend to bring it those thoughts to the forefront of my mind. Now that Kyle and I have an anniversary a week before my birthday, I have LOTS of things to think about! As I was driving around today, I heard the song Beautiful by Mercy Me and it took me back to a sweet memory.

I guess it's been almost two or three years ago now, but I was going through a very difficult time and one of the main issues that had surfaced during that time was the way I viewed myself. I won't go into all the gruesome details, but I spent some time working on understanding where those thoughts came from, what God says about me and then working on the things about myself that I wanted to change. One of my "homework" assignments was to go clothes shopping. Shopping used to be (and still sometimes is) one of my least favorite things to do! I tend to look in the mirror and evaluate all the things I don't like instead of the clothing hanging on my frame. I don't know, but I tend to think this is pretty common for most women. Anyway, I spent three hours in a store with someone who helped me select clothes that fit me well, complimented my frame and basically praised me over and over and over. I had never finished a shopping excursion feeling energized before that! On top of all that, it started to snow a picture perfect snow, and it felt like it was just a special gift- just for me. As I walked out of the store feeling uplifted and just thanking God for the beautiful snow and the healing that had started from this experience, I started the car and suddenly began to cry as I heard the words that seemed straight from God's mouth to me, "You're beautiful. You're beautiful. You are made for so much more than all of this. You're beautiful. You are treasured. You are sacred. You are His. You're beautiful."

Even now those words hold special meaning to me, and I will always hold that memory close. I am thankful for the healing God has brought to my life in this area. There are still times where I struggle with who I am, how I look, or why God made me the way He made me, but there are many other times where I sense God's healing touch on this broken part of my life. Part of that healing has come from my dear, sweet husband Kyle. He has blessed me in so many ways, but he reminds me of his love for me and calls me beautiful each and every day. He is a precious extension of God's love for me and I am so grateful for God's continued healing in my life.

TIME is tickin' away!

Last night we said “Goodbye” to our dear Hospitality House Directors, Lou & Cathy Rozmiarek. We still have a little “goodbye-ing” left to do with them, but today I find myself reflecting on the events of last night…

We had over 60 people come to thank Lou & Cathy for the impact they had made on their lives (many who weren’t able to come) and I couldn’t help but think of the overdone Ray Boltz song, “Thank you for giving to the Lord. I am a life that was changed.” It’s impossible to go to a goodbye dinner without reflecting on the impact one life can have on another.

The military is blessed in many ways, and although I have not met a person yet who likes saying “Goodbye”, we are blessed in being able to do so. Having to say “Goodbye” so often, lends itself to a deeper understanding of the brevity of time. When you are changing locations at least every couple of years, you learn the difficult lesson of how to make the most of your time with people. 

Anyone who has been in a serious car accident, had a life threatening experience or precarious health can relate to the sense of how short life is.  After making it through that experience, there is a desire to breathe deeply, enjoy the world and the people around us, and even to make things right with God, ourselves and those we love. For believers, this is just another spiritual reminder that this world is not our home and we are aliens here. Our hearts were not meant to stay here.

So, even though my heart is deeply saddened to be saying “goodbye” to such dear friends and colleagues, I guess I write this as a reminder to myself and others- Don’t wait! Live life to the fullest and make the most of your time, because the days are evil. –Ephesians 5:16

Plain and Simple- Awesome!

I've been working with Design & Media for over a year now. I've learned a lot of new skills and I still have a lot to learn, but I REALLY enjoy my job- most of the time. ;) Right now I'm working on various pieces for the Adopt An Airman program that I've orchestrated for the last two years. It's a lot of work, but SO rewarding! This year I decided I want to spruce up the layouts and I'm really having fun with a vintage Americana type theme.

One of the things that I have learned in this job is that there will be a lot of drafts! I am still amazed at how many hours I can labor over spacing, fonts, headers and footers, and intricate details that just pull it all together. My job consists of hours in front of a computer, but it is an avenue to communicate to people around the world the mighty things that God is doing in the lives of our military and our missionaries! That's a pretty cool job! Plus, I get the added bonus of learning on a daily basis AND getting to funnel my creativity into something to further God's Kingdom. It's plain and simple- awesome!

Thank you to those of you who are furthering God's Kingdom by your prayer and financial support of Cadence International, and those of you who make it possible for me to be here supporting our missionaries around the world! YOU are plain and simple- awesome!

A Mouth Full

Monday was a day that I had been looking forward to for quite a while- the day my braces would be removed! I have been a good patient- no chewing gum for over three years and today was my day of freedom. As I sat in the chair while the orthodontist literally took a pair of pliers and just yanked brackets off my teeth, I thought to myself- why did I never anticipate the pain that would go with this process? Not only did they yank, pull, and scrape they sandblasted my teeth...seriously! After they went through the process of scraping cement off and polishing my teeth, the assistant put a piece of paper towel over my face. She explained that the paper towel had a little hole in the middle where they would be applying what would feel like a fresh day at the beach. I'm sure something is lost in the translation from German to English, but I think what she meant to say was "Your mouth will feel like you just had the ocean breeze blow a bucket of sand into your mouth. Oh, and could you hold your mouth open wide and not gag while it does that? Thanks." All in all, even despite the sand taste that lingered for a couple of days, I am regaining familiarity with what it feels like to have smooth teeth again...it's fantastic!

Thanks to the many of you who listened to my teeth woes and who sympathized with my plight. Once again, life is always better after the fact. So, the next time you see me, we should share a piece of chewing gum or maybe even get real crazy and have a carmel apple! :)

Remember

If you are old enough to remember 9-11, you remember where you were that day. I remember the shock and disbelief of watching the planes and the towers. I remember the chaos at school where everyone wondered if life would ever be normal again. I remember.

The thing I'm learning about history is that we often forget. That is one of the reasons we build memorials: to remind us of events and people. As I stood on Omaha beach in Normandy and as I read the Bible, I am reminded that we need to remember.

Today, I remember.

Follow Me!

There are so many events and moments from our weekend in Normandy that I could blog about, but I will tell you about one of moments that I hope I will never forget...

I've never been much of a history buff. I grew up watching war movies with my Dad, but I had no real scope of what World War II was about. I understood Hitler was in Germany and America decided to intervene. This weekend I began to grasp a little more about the war, the people involved and the deep respect that is due the brave men and women who fight for our freedom.

Bruce Dower, a Cadence Hospitality House Director, served as our historian on our trip to Normandy, France. At key locations, he would show us a map of our location, tell us of the battle plan and stories of people who were involved in that section of the war. The talk that I found most moving was the attack on Omaha Beach.

If you have any knowledge of the war, you know that Omaha Beach was one of the bloodiest sections of the D-Day invasion. Almost every part of the invasion went wrong and many lives were lost on that beach. As Bruce tells the story, you can visualize the dead men littering the beach and how awful it must have been to be one of the living men on that frightful day. As men to make it to the sea wall, they began to cluster, not wanting to move from wherever they were for fear of being shot. They were pinned down and there was not much hope of survival or accomplishing the mission. Bruce let that realization sink in and they he said, "How did they get off the beach? It began with one Sergeant who would find another soldier and start yelling, 'Get your "butt" off of this beach!'. Another soldier found a group and starts barking 'Finish the mission. Take that hill.' 'Follow me!'" You cannot help but be moved by their bravery and leadership in such dire circumstances.

As my mind began to wander, picturing these pockets of men being led off the beach, I thought about the words, "Follow me". I have always associated those words with Matthew 4:19 where Jesus Christ is calling to Peter and his brother Andrew to follow him and he will make them fishers of men. I admit that I had always imagined those words to be a rather mellow calling, more of a "Hey guys, when you're done catching fish, come join me for a cool adventure." After hearing these words echoed on Omaha Beach, while imagining such a hopeless situation, I began to picture Jesus Christ calling to all of us during our own times of crises. WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF WAR, and He is calling us to follow Him! It's not a wimpy invitation to come and join His cool adventure called Christianity- it is a command to "Get off our butts and finish the mission!" He is urging us to follow Him and get off that beach of despair!

I know I will never read that passage in Matthew the same again, and I will never watch a World War II Movie or documentary without that renewed respect for our military and the Allies.

Homework

As I watched the lines of cars heading onto base to drop their kids off, I began to think about homework. School started this last Monday and I admit I was a little jealous of all the kids loaded up with their backpacks and new little outfits headed into their classroom to learn. There's just something about school that I love. I love learning new things, being close to other people while we figure out the subject material and the planner in me adores my new calendar that I have to meticulously write all my new assignments in. :) During the majority of my growing up years, I planned on going to college to become an Elementary school teacher. I used to play school and all of my stuffed animals (and two brothers) were my students. Even now, I love to look at all the bulletin board ideas and how I would arrange my classroom. Who knows? Someday I may have the opportunity to be a classroom teacher, but for now my homework consists of home work.

Kyle and I recently completed a class on how to lead a Precepts Bible study. We spent our Saturday reading, studying and digesting the book of Titus. In Titus 2:5, it talks about how women should be "workers at home". This literally means to take care of and protect the home. Right now, God has allowed me to be in a position where I am to guard and protect my home. This does not just mean doing the dishes and laundry, but to care for and protect those who take shelter in my home. Oh, that I would have a heart for home work!

God continues to challenge and refine me, and I continue to learn new lessons on a daily basis. I may not have a syllabus of what is required of me this semester, but He has shown me what is good and what the Lord requires of me- but to do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God. [paraphrase of Micah 6:8]

The Most Exciting Restaurant in the World!

I don't remember how old I was, but one of my all-time favorite memories is with my Dad. He took me on a date and I felt like a princess! We went to Casa Bonita, the self-proclaimed "Most exciting restaurant in the world!" I believed them. We stood in line with a bazillion people, sat within view of the diver who jumped in the waterfall while we ate our fantastic sopapillas (really, what food isn't great doused in honey?!?), were serenaded by a Mariachi band and after that I got to play ski-ball, watch a puppet show and go exploring in Black Bart's cave while wearing a glow-in-the-dark necklace! It was one night I'll never forget!

Well, this last week while we were in Colorado, I wanted to share this "experience" with my new husband. We arrived at the pink tower and I was delighted to see the smile on Kyle's face! He gleefully participated in the silly skits where a gorilla pushed his sidekick into the waterfall and the sheriff and Black Bart dueled in front of our eyes. After we ate our sopapillas, we wandered through Black Bart's Hideout and laughed at the puppet show.

Then we won ourselves a ridiculous amount of tickets playing ski-ball! It brought sweet joy to my heart to share this evening with Kyle and for him to soak up all the silly memories with me and create another wonderful memory.

Today as I think back on those evenings, I am reminded that special memories can be created anytime/anywhere if we only have open eyes and hearts to the people and experiences around us. That is one of my favorite things about Kyle! He is so full of life and always wanting to pounce on the adventure at hand. I hope I can live today to the fullest and soak up the life God has lavished on me.

Joining the Ranks

Everyone who has been part of a community knows that you develop your own sense of identity, that your group looks at the world through a slightly different lens and that is part of what brings you together. Last night I was brusquely reminded of one of the lenses that a military community looks through, allow me to start from the beginning...

The leaves are already starting to change on a few trees, school supplies are out at the BX and I am thrilled for the chilly mornings as I sigh, "Ah, I love fall!" It's not quite fall yet, but the signs are everywhere and that is my favorite time of year. Along with fall comes the highly anticipated celebration of my 1st wedding anniversary and yet another birthday, both of which I unwittingly had high expectations. I don't know if it's because we waited so long to get married or because EVERY girl imagines how romantic her 1st anniversary will be, but somehow I had imagined this special evening with my husband that made me feel like a blushing bride again. Well, my fanciful daydreams were brought to a crushing halt when my husband informed me that the base would be having an exercise for two weeks over our anniversary. Now, for you non-military folks, this means 12+ hour shifts (usually with no days off) and lots of extra duties, as well as, being called at anytime to come back to base for a surprise inspection or some other interesting activity. A base exercise basically means I get to see my husband for some meals and watch him crawl into bed exhausted. The good news is that the exercise will be done before my birthday...oh wait, I'll be gone for a Cadence women's conference during that time.

Disappointment enveloped me and like any other woman, I sought solace from a group of friends. During our worship practice on Thursday nights, we gather for a time of prayer. As I shared my disappointment, the room was filled with chatter as everyone starts telling stories, "Oh that's nothing, we haven't been able to celebrate ______________(fill in the blank)." One woman told us she didn't get to celebrate her first seven anniversaries with her husband! Needless to say, I didn't feel a whole lot of comfort. ;)

I laughed when I got home and talked with Kyle about it. I have known this outlook on life to be true for military folks around the world. One of the most challenging and difficult aspects of serving our country across the seas or away from home is missing those monumental or important moments. It is just a different experience when it is ME in the front seat of this experience! As I begin to more fully understand the experiences of military spouses across the world, I am once again reminded that military families make many sacrifices too. Thank you to our military men, women and those who support them around the world! My respect for you only continues to grow.

Meanwhile, I am sure Kyle and I will find a special way to celebrate our 1st anniversary, and I will learn to let go of my expectations one day at a time.

Bible Lessons from my Thyroid

The Dr. called this morning, "Your hypothyroidism has gotten significantly worse. We'll be changing your dosage significantly." The last 5 (almost 6 years) have been filled with trips to the Dr., blood draws, trying and changing different medications and many, many mood swings. The thyroid is like a thermostat for the body, controlling temperature, metabolism, hormones and many other delicate systems. It is a tiny piece of the body that has so much power over the way the rest of the body performs.

There are days that I feel wonderful and there are days where I really dislike myself and my body. A thyroid disorder can begin to make you wonder who you really are. What are the hormones changing and what is the real me? It can become really confusing. This is one of the reasons I enjoy journaling. I can look back over the past months or years and see a pattern that helps me realize "this funk should end soon" or "I'm probably just emotional since they changed my medications"... Still, it is very difficult to "take every thought captive" as II Corinthians tells us to do.

Having chronic health issues is not something I would desire for anyone. It is a tough, everyday battle that is not only physically, but also mentally exhausting. It is a daily reminder that your life is not your own and while you can make choices to help or harm your body- you cannot fix your body. We live in a broken and fallen world- which includes our bodies. Jesus is the only True Healer and this body reminds me that I must lean on Him DAILY. "For we are not our own, but we are bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body." - I Corinthians 6:20

Rhine A'Flame

Germans love fireworks! If you've ever been in Germany for New Years- you know this. There are more fireworks on New Years than I've ever seen for the Fourth of July in the states. I will always love the Fourth in the states (especially Nebraska) as they often time the fireworks to music and who wouldn't love that?!? Anyway, the Rhine A'Flame was a reminder of just how much Germans love their fireworks.

There was a group of singles and us newly-marrieds that decided to take this excursion. We enjoyed a river-boat cruise on the Rhine with about 50 other boats. It was actually a lovely evening with the sun out, a light breeze and a nice meal served on the boat. We sat on the top deck in preparation for the fireworks to come. Little did I know that our crew was going to be the life of the party.

As other boats drifted by us, we started waving and then it turned into hollering "Hey!" which somehow turned into "A" (maybe that's an American's version of trying to say "Hey!" in German). The next thing you know we've started the Wave and we have little old American ladies sitting on our men's laps! All this attention got me to thinking about what draws people to us? A question I guess I'm still pondering, for now.

After the sun set and it began to cool down, we heard the loud pops and bangs signaling the beginning of the fireworks. Let me give you a little setting here...this section of the Rhine River is one of the most picturesque with multiple castles on each side of the river. Most of these castles were on fire or part of the war at some point in time and this particular fireworks display is to honor the "Burning of the Castles".  So, the boats line up and float down the Rhine River as each castle does a fireworks display ending with the burning of the castle. There are actually so many boats that each castle does their display twice to ensure that each boat gets an up close and personal viewing. Every time we thought the display was over (surely that was the finale'), it would start up again. I would say at least an hour of fireworks- craziness.

All in all, it was a fun time with this group and we met a lot of interesting people!

Ministry Highlights, Activities & Prayer Requests

Ministry Highlights:

* Thursday night Worship Practice (& Sunday Morning Worship Leading): We have had two new leaders within the past two months and this has been quite the transition. Our current leader has done an excellent job of focusing our hearts on the TRUE reason for worship. There are still several "holes" to be filled, as we said goodbye to 9 of our 13 on our worship team.

* Friday night ministry at the Hospitality House: We are currently studying different religions of the world and it has been a brilliant time of study as we learn the general concepts of these religions and how to engage them with the Gospel of Christ. Tonight we will study "Wicca", a religion that has taken a great hold in our community.

* I have really been enjoying my new role with Cadence in Design & Media. I design newsletters for all the Cadence missionaries (who do not often have time to do that on their own). This has given me a new-found love for the heart of the mission of Cadence International. I look forward to sharing more stories about this in future updates!

* Cadence is in the process of building a new website, as well as, discussing ways to better incorporate social media into reaching our military around the world.

* Kyle has had several men reaching out to him as they wrestle with personal and work issues.

Activities:

* A group of 20-30's are going on a special trip on the Rhine River this Saturday. It includes dinner on a boat while enjoying a firework show over the river. We anticipate good opportunities for discussion.

* We have had one "goodbye" event this last week and will have one more each week of July.

* In August, Kyle and I will be heading to Denver for a week of training at Cadence Headquarters.

Prayer Concerns:

* For those who are PCSing (transferring to new bases): Erica, Millie, Marlowe family (our current chaplains), and the Settle Family. They are all leaving during July.

* Please pray for the "holes" that are left by those who are PCSing. We anticipate a new Chaplain this fall, which is always a huge change for the chapel community. 

* When we say "goodbye" often, it is easy to become hardened and not be open to new relationships. Please pray that our community will have open arms and learn to embrace all those new arrivals in our area.

* Please pray for Kyle as he embraces several of these men who have reached out to him. Also, please pray for him in his role in the Air Force. 

* Personal health: Although my health seems to be improving (taken off several medications), there are new complications as I was diagnosed with (very mild) diabetes. I am adjusting to daily insulin injections and all the implications of that.

Happy July!

The heat and humidity tell me it’s summer, but my mind still has a hard time comprehending that fact. Normally, Germany is not quite this hot & humid- at least ‘til August, but it’s a good dose of Nebraska for me. J 

Worship has been a major theme in our lives these past few months. We said “goodbye” to 9 of our 13-man worship team. God has blessed with many new faces to fill the gaps we were so worried about filling. Hmm, a good reminder to quit worrying since it’s all His anyway. Kyle has also helped fill the gaps by rotating in to lead worship Friday nights at the Hospitality House and it has been a privilege to see him grow in that way.

Leading worship is a lot harder than it looks. Not only do you have to play the notes right and sing the notes right, but you’re supposed to play it at the right beat and lead everyone else to play with you. Then you’re supposed to get all the words right and with some feeling too. On top of all that, you are the model for leading others to the Throne of God! We are learning more of how worship is less of a “Do-it-All-Right” Responsibility and more of a regular lifestyle. Am I living every day at the Throne of God and am I pointing others to the cross of Christ through my everyday living? Then when we sing or play, we are already there. We were made to worship- every moment of every day.

Goodbye’s continue to be a large portion of our summer as well. It is still my least favorite part of military ministry, but God is our portion and strength. This next week we have a combined going-away dinner for two of my favorite gals here in community- Erica and Millie. Erica is heading to Las Vegas and Millie is getting out of the Army and getting married to one of the guys she met at the K-town Hospitality House! Although we hate saying goodbye, we are excited to see what God will do through them at their new locations.

Kyle and I are enjoying married life as we feel like we have found a rhythm of life. In May, we were able to move to a small house (shared with another Cadence missionary) and it suits our needs so much better. We now have room to host events, a back-yard with a small fire-pit and built in community upstairs! :) We are so thankful for God’s gift of marriage and for community here in Germany who have helped us wade through some of those difficult transitions newlyweds experience.

My health has had it’s ups and downs these past few months, but it looks like we’re on an up-trend now. I was able to go off of half of my medications and have been feeling MUCH better. I still have a few more wrinkles to iron out there, but I've been amazed at how much more I feel like my old self. I've even had comments from folks in the area about how much better I seem to be feeling. Thank you for your prayers!

Thank you for your partnership in ministry to our military in Germany!

Marriage is to Love

Sometimes I just have a need to write. The thoughts and feelings are just nagging me as I declare to myself that I am just too busy to sit and write. Alas, after weeks of these thoughts, I have finally succumbed to the desire and I sit here at my computer, ready to divulge my heart.

As most of you know, I got married in September. Even today, my husband (Kyle) and I looked at each other and said, "We're married! It still doesn't seem real." Oh, don't get me wrong, there have been moments of reality all right...but, today we are relishing in the fresh life that we have discovered anew. I wish that I had been blogging during those first few months of marriage. All of the transitions and changes were blissful and gut-wrenching. We waited longer than most of our friends to get married, talked through the issues before hand, read the books with deep insight into a happy marriage and STILL, we were caught off-guard. How does one really prepare for sharing their heart, soul, life and laundry completely with another person? How does one prepare to become one?

Marriage is a wonderful institution. Kyle and I deeply love it. We love knowing there will be someone to share the days with, not having to worry about who to take to a party, someone to make you breakfast in the morning (that's one of my favorites), and yet- it is hard. Hard to truly die to self and to put the needs of someone else first, even someone you love dearly. We have learned that selfishness is so much more than just wanting your own way, it can truly suck the living breath right out of a marriage. All of the advice our wise and wonderful friends gave us generally amounted to "It's wonderful and it's hard." We thought we knew what that meant, but we had NO idea. :) All of the advice was correct, but somehow, it just did not communicate the depth of difficulty (or the depth of wonderful, for that matter). Perhaps it's just one of those things that you have to experience for yourself, or maybe it's one of those- everyone has a different experience things...I don't know.

Regardless, we love marriage. For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health.