Control- Whose is it Anyway?

I have these grandiose ideas of wonderful stories I can write or some witty retort, but instead I sit down at the computer and out comes "See Dick run.". How is it that all of those moving moments throughout the week seem to disappear when I sit in front of the keyboard? Maybe I need to start keeping a list? I like lists. I've enjoyed keeping a list since I was in school. I like to know what I need to accomplish or how completely impossible it is for me to get that long list of things done. There is something about being able to write it down that makes me feel like I have a little more control over the situation. Kind of like saying, "Take that, dishes! You're on my list of things to do and you WILL get done. Just you wait!!!" Sometimes, if I forget to write something down on my list that I've already done- I will go back and add it to my list, just so I can cross it out. Ridiculous, but true.

I don't like it when things feel out of control...it's just scary. This week was completely out of our control. We've been saving up to buy a new car, as our old car is totally on it's last leg. After pushing the car to start it for several weeks, we decided it may be time to start looking for a new one. We were totally excited to find a 2010 Toyota Corolla that was well below Blue Book Value because the guy was no longer in the country and they needed to get it sold. So, we thought, "Ah-hah! Corolla's are known to be reliable cars. It's a 2010, and it's right in our price range. SOLD!" That was the beginning of the craziness. I can't even begin to describe the mounds of paperwork and all the time it took to complete it all...but alas, after almost two weeks, the car was now in our possession. Kyle drove it to work for several days and then I planned to drive it to a Dr. appointment. The car went crazy! We ended up driving it to the dealership and they told us something needed replaced (we still don't know what it is- since he said it in German). We thought, "No worries- it's covered under warranty." Ah, the lovely thing about warranties is they always seem to cover everything except what you need at that moment. So, we will take the car back tomorrow to be fixed.

Kyle and I had a really hard time with the whole situation. We know it's just a thing and truthfully all money is the Lord's- we know this. However, there were more feelings there. Feeling taken advantage of, stupid, self-pity. Ask anyone who has known me in Germany, I have not had good luck with cars. I've lost count on how many vehicles I have driven during my six years here. So, for just once, we thought we had managed to secure ourselves a reliable vehicle. Who knows? Maybe it will be reliable after we get this part fixed. Maybe the seller didn't know this part was bad? Maybe this is just the beginning of a long string of repairs. We don't know.

You know how sometimes when you go to church, you feel like someone told the pastor what you needed to hear? That was us this past Sunday. The sermon was on Lamentations 3:21-25 where Jeremiah is talking about the faithfulness of the Lord. Life is hard- but God is good. We know the Lord has a plan through it all. Perhaps it was to teach me to hold my life, my belongings, my control with an open hand and release it to the One who controls it anyway. We hope and pray that we don't have to learn this lesson again, but for now we rest in God's care and faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-26: 

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  

'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.' The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."