Control- Whose is it Anyway?

I have these grandiose ideas of wonderful stories I can write or some witty retort, but instead I sit down at the computer and out comes "See Dick run.". How is it that all of those moving moments throughout the week seem to disappear when I sit in front of the keyboard? Maybe I need to start keeping a list? I like lists. I've enjoyed keeping a list since I was in school. I like to know what I need to accomplish or how completely impossible it is for me to get that long list of things done. There is something about being able to write it down that makes me feel like I have a little more control over the situation. Kind of like saying, "Take that, dishes! You're on my list of things to do and you WILL get done. Just you wait!!!" Sometimes, if I forget to write something down on my list that I've already done- I will go back and add it to my list, just so I can cross it out. Ridiculous, but true.

I don't like it when things feel out of control...it's just scary. This week was completely out of our control. We've been saving up to buy a new car, as our old car is totally on it's last leg. After pushing the car to start it for several weeks, we decided it may be time to start looking for a new one. We were totally excited to find a 2010 Toyota Corolla that was well below Blue Book Value because the guy was no longer in the country and they needed to get it sold. So, we thought, "Ah-hah! Corolla's are known to be reliable cars. It's a 2010, and it's right in our price range. SOLD!" That was the beginning of the craziness. I can't even begin to describe the mounds of paperwork and all the time it took to complete it all...but alas, after almost two weeks, the car was now in our possession. Kyle drove it to work for several days and then I planned to drive it to a Dr. appointment. The car went crazy! We ended up driving it to the dealership and they told us something needed replaced (we still don't know what it is- since he said it in German). We thought, "No worries- it's covered under warranty." Ah, the lovely thing about warranties is they always seem to cover everything except what you need at that moment. So, we will take the car back tomorrow to be fixed.

Kyle and I had a really hard time with the whole situation. We know it's just a thing and truthfully all money is the Lord's- we know this. However, there were more feelings there. Feeling taken advantage of, stupid, self-pity. Ask anyone who has known me in Germany, I have not had good luck with cars. I've lost count on how many vehicles I have driven during my six years here. So, for just once, we thought we had managed to secure ourselves a reliable vehicle. Who knows? Maybe it will be reliable after we get this part fixed. Maybe the seller didn't know this part was bad? Maybe this is just the beginning of a long string of repairs. We don't know.

You know how sometimes when you go to church, you feel like someone told the pastor what you needed to hear? That was us this past Sunday. The sermon was on Lamentations 3:21-25 where Jeremiah is talking about the faithfulness of the Lord. Life is hard- but God is good. We know the Lord has a plan through it all. Perhaps it was to teach me to hold my life, my belongings, my control with an open hand and release it to the One who controls it anyway. We hope and pray that we don't have to learn this lesson again, but for now we rest in God's care and faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:21-26: 

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:

 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  

'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.' The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

Wide Awake

I don't really listen to the radio much, but this morning on the drive to work Kyle and I listened. As I was driving home, I heard the song "Wide Awake" by Katy Perry. I've never been able to listen to Katy Perry without feeling a little sad at who she is and who she used to be. If you don't know, Katy used to be known as Katy Hudson and was sponsored by Focus on the Family. Hard to believe, right? Anyway, it got me to thinking about people in my life who were once followers of Christ, but for whatever reason have walked away from the faith. I wish I could capture the deep sadness this creates in my soul. How could anyone genuinely walk away from the Lord? Did I play a role in their disillusionment? Will they ever return?

As I listened to the words of "Wide Awake", I heard Biblical references to "being born again" and"out of the lion's den" and I just wondered where those words came from for her. Has she "fallen from cloud  nine" and is realizing this life of fame and fortune isn't all it was cracked up to be? Since we don't watch TV here and I manage to avoid most of the online news, I really have no idea where Katy is on anything. However, I do know that anytime I hear about Katy I think about her life growing up and what the Lord may have for her and so many like her.

The last several months I have been studying the book of Jeremiah. One of the major themes is "Turn or Return." It has been fascinating to read and see how the Lord is hurt by Israel's adultery with other gods, but He still longs for them to return. He talks about His anger, but also that more than that He longs for them to return. He has given chance after chance and He STILL wants them to return. There are so many people in our lives who have not blatantly walked away from the faith, but have continued to go to church but have "given up on God" in their hearts. They live with guilt of their sin, but they are still seeking- unwilling to make a decision. He wants them to RETURN!

So, the next time you hear her Katy's music or see her face on TV or a magazine, consider praying for her return to the Lord and for the many others who have turned away. Pray for their eyes to be opened and that they would truly be wide awake.

Swimming is a Dangerous Sport

Several years ago, a group of us gals were on a road trip listening to a comedian. I can't recall the comedian's name, but I still quote some of the material from time to time. One of my favorite sketches started out with the lines, "Swimming is a dangerous sport. Sometimes you do it for fun and sometimes you do it to not die."

I'm not super-fond of being in the water- part of that is it takes a lot of work to get ready to get in the pool (can I get a shout-out from my fellow ladies?) but the other part is I hate water in my eyes. Despite my reservations about being in the pool, today was my third swim-therapy session for my knee and it was actually fun. It was even more thrilling to not be THAT girl who was last in every exercise we did. Everyone must have been feeling really slow today, because I was the first to finish almost everything! Can you tell I'm excited about that?

Well, the other two days were not as uplifting as today was. The first day as I crawled into the pool with my glasses on, one of the instructors looked at me with incredulity and asked, "Glasses in the pool?" I explained they were an old pair, but I am just blind without them on. He just shook his head and started teaching me the exercises for the day. I've never really swam laps in a pool with lanes or been in a pool for anything except entertainment or to cool off. Instead, I found myself huffing and puffing seemingly unmoving in the 88 degree water...definitely not entertainment or cooling off! I became easily discouraged as I looked around and saw how quickly everyone else around me was shooting down their lane. As my strength began to wane and I found the water level rapidly rising around my jaw, I decided I had to get a grip. I did not want to quit. I started coaching myself in my head, "Come on, Mel. You can do it. Just focus on your movements and not on the pain. Focus on what you are trying to accomplish." I found myself wholly focused on one point at the end of the pool and then repeating the movements over and over until I got there. I began to smile as I neared the end, partially because I was almost finished and hopefully that meant the pain would stop, but the other part was because I couldn't help but think, "There must be a spiritual analogy in all of this." :) 

Hebrews 12:2 says, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith..."We can't be focused on all the things going on around us, our own pain, or even things in our own "lane". If we are constantly looking around or comparing our progress to others'- we WILL become discouraged. So, if you find yourself discouraged, in pain or distracted by all the things going on around you: Fear not! Be encouraged and FIX your eyes on HIM!