Back on my Feet

Sickness is making the rounds, but last week I was sick...really sick! The Dr. at the E.R. said that her best guess was I had multiple things all at the same time. Let's just say I was exhausted after getting up to go the bathroom and spent almost the whole week flat on my back in bed or on the couch. Spending my days laying in bed gave me time to think (well, at least when I wasn't sleeping). I thought back to my first few years here in Germany. I was sick- a lot! I had never really had major problems with my health before coming to Germany, but I spent the first couple of years here in bed, at the Dr. or at the E.R. trying to get things righted. As I came out of those many months with medical staff, I reflected on the new insight God had given me into the lives of those who live with illness day in and day out. The strength of mind must overcome the weakness of the body. One must face the reality that they, in and of themselves, are unable to make themselves well. We live in a fallen world.

If you are like the many, many people who have been subjected to the flu or some other illness this winter, maybe you should take the time to pray for those in your sphere who struggle with their health on a regular basis, or those who are house-bound (how crazy were you going being cooped up in your room for days on end???). A thoughtful card, call or visit can communicate so much.

I still seem to have plenty of health issues to keep me busy, but I am thankful to the God Who is my Healer. I am thankful that I am not relegated to my bed day in and day out, and I am thankful to a God who will take me to those dark and lonely places to remind me of His heart for people.

Kisses of Worship

I love to read, but I go in spurts. One month, I'll be devouring books and the next I am not interested. It's a strange relationship to be sure, but when I read, I am ALL in. I love books like the Lord of the Rings trilogy that have a fun fictitious quality, but also have a spiritual lesson that can be derived from so many of the scenes. Recently, I've been in a bit of a dry reading spell, but felt compelled to pick up a book I bought while we were in the states in January.

This book is called "Kisses from Katie". It's a autobiography of sorts from a 21 year old girl who lives in Uganda, adopted 13 girls and started her own ministry. Although I'm only a few chapters in, I can tell you that you cannot read this book without being moved.

This morning I was contemplating some things that Kyle was sharing in regards to prayer, and I decided I wanted to practice listening to the Lord (instead of just giving Him a list of needs). So, as we talked, I asked Him what He has for me, for Kyle, for us in this stage of our lives. You see, lately, I've been feeling like we're really good at living the life, we're in the Word, we're doing ministry, but I miss those heart-to-hearts the Lord and I used to have. So, there I sat and listened. Eventually I was moved to pick this book up. I was so moved that I want to share this excerpt of her journal with you:

"One Day~ October 20, 2007

It is pouring. It is freezing. The power has been off for days and the water lines are down. Yet I stand in the middle of twenty-five children praising and thanking the Lord. Our usual outside worship has been taken indoors due to the storm, so instead of praying together, the children are praying in their individual rooms. I am in the primary boys' room, which is home to twenty-five boys ages six to ten. I have never seen anyone so alive with love for their Maker. Some stand with their hands in the air. Others, like me, overwhelmed with awe, have fallen to their knees on the cold cement floor. The beautiful sound of twenty-six voices lifted in prayer drowns out the beating of the rain on the tin roof.  

God is so in this moment, I feel so full of His love that my heart threatens to burst. This is not something I can explain. This is not something words can capture. This feeling is bigger. The splendor of God in this room takes my breath away. We all pray out loud and our voices mix into one, all different words, but the same message. Thank you. Thank you. 

At first glance, it would be easy to feel sorry for these little boys. Their clothes are tattered, they sleep on old, dirty mattresses, they walk to school barefoot in the rain. They have no electricity, no running water, and it is raining so hard that the whole compound has become a muddy swamp. But I should not pity these children. In fact, I should envy them. At six years old, these children know what it is to be filled with the Holy Spirit. These children know the greatness, the wonder of our God. 

I've had people ask me why I think Africa is so impoverished, but these children are not poor. I, as a person who grew up wealthy, am. I put value in things. These children, having no things, put value in God. I put my trust in relationships, these children, having already see relationships fail, put their trust in the Lord. This nation is blessed beyond any place, any people. I have ever encountered. God has not forgotten them. In fact, I believe He has loved them just a little bit extra. 

I sit here freezing and wet in this pitch-black room as the rain beats on the roof, and God is so close I feel I can touch Him. My deepest prayer is that I could know the Lord as well as the first grader next to me. All my senses are full of His greatness. God's glory has fallen down into this place and is soaking us even deeper than the rain. I never ever want to be dry."

Oh to know Him like this.

Worth the Wait!

Christmas, New Years, a visit to the states...it's been a whirlwind of busy here. Normally when Kyle and I are busy, we tend to miss each other in the midst of doing, and while there has been a bit of that- I've been reflecting on what a wonderful gift God has given me in the gift of Kyle. Kyle is kind, always trying to make sure I am good and taken care of, funny, affectionate, silly, smart, and real. Recently I was talking to a friend who said, "He loves you so much. He is still googly-eyed over you!" I have been relishing that statement for these past few days and it just fills my heart with joy.

We waited. We waited for a long time before we got married. We waited so long in fact, that both of us wondered if we would ever get married. Now, we both say, "It was worth the wait!". I think one of the most joyously overwhelming things for me to think about is that Kyle is a picture of how Christ loves me. It brings tears to my eyes to just think about how fully and completely my husband loves me (especially when I don't deserve it) and Christ loves me even more than that! How could I ever capture something so beautiful into words?

If you have been blessed with marriage- take some time today to thank the Lord for that precious gift. If you are single and waiting for that special someone- be reminded that the Lord is googly-eyed over YOU!

Thank you, Lord, for the wonderful gift of my husband and the many beautiful ways that he expresses Your love to me!