The last couple of weeks have not been the easiest for me. I said goodbye to some very dear friends in Germany and I reentered the US of A. America has caught me off guard in a few things: things like customer service, places being open 24 hours a day, a whole aisle in Wal-Mart for just salad dressing, an unbelievable sense of entitlement, people always being in a hurry and rarely smiling- just because. Some people would say I’m experiencing reverse culture shock.
The whole thing has been quite bizarre to me, as I did not feel like I experienced a lot of culture shock when I went to . There were a few things: having six trash cans for recycling, no customer service skills whatsoever, driving at a quick clip down the autobahn, etc. However, none of these cultural things felt too extreme.
There have been a lot of changes for me since I arrived back in the states. When I landed, we found out that my stepmom’s Dad had suffered a stroke- he is now living with us in my old room. I also had the privilege of participating in one of my best friends weddings…I am now one of the only unmarried from our group of friends. I’ve gone from being surrounded with 50-75 people every Friday night and having a built-in social group to next to no social life. It’s a big change.
I admit that I haven’t handled it very well at all. I have felt incredibly alone and not sure how to be this “spiritual missionary” and admit that I didn’t know how to handle all of this pressure. I know the “right” answer is to give it up to God…but HOW do I do that practically?
It began last night, with a simple admission in prayer that I can’t do this on my own. This morning in church we talked about God’s faithfulness. As I sang the line, “All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided.” I thought about how God HAS provided everything I need. He has given me a roof over my head, a vehicle (for free), wonderful friends, a family that lets me live with them…He is good. Then the sermon was on Joshua 4 where the Israelites built a memorial of stones to remind the generations to come of God’s faithfulness. When they looked at the stones they remembered how God parted the waters, protected them from the enemy, and walked them into the Promised Land. It got me to thinking, what would the stones in my life represent? What are the tangible ways that I have seen God’s faithfulness? I’m not sure how I’m going to “memorialize” my list, but I think it’s a great perspective to take- especially as I look at all the changes ahead of me. Thank you to those of you who have and are praying for me through this all. I believe this change of heart and mind is directly linked to your prayers!
Don’t worry; this isn’t the end of our conversation on faith and faithfulness…
I’d like to know, how would you set a memorial of God’s faithfulness in your life?
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