It's Really Happening

It was Thursday. We were leaving for our vacation on Friday. Preparations were in full swing: laundry, packing, taking out the trash, watering plants, etc. I went to bed feeling pretty ready for our trip. I did my best not to let those thoughts of last minute items slip into my mind and keep sleep from my weary body. "How I need this vacation!", I thought to myself. "How we need this vacation.", I corrected myself. As Kyle got home from work around 7:30am, I was hurriedly trying to get our luggage to the door. I was focused on our trip, on details like if we packed the GPS when Kyle asked me, "Hey! Guess what I got at work today?". I distractedly said, "I don't know- what?" "My deployment paperwork." Everything stopped. I fought to look unaffected and to keep the tears from my eyes. It's really happening. He is really leaving. Even now it is impossible to keep the tears from running down my cheeks, but I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be a good wife and support my husband as he does his job well and does his part to protect our beloved country. "I guess our vacation is good timing.", I responded thinking, "I can put this off for another ten days."

Unfortunately, the vacation is over. The week after we returned was very difficult for me. I cried every day for one reason or another. As I write this, Kyle is in his deployment training where they make sure all his paperwork is in order (will, power of attorney, etc.) and tell him what he needs to bring with him. It's really happening. I know there are many women and families who have done this before us, but that doesn't change the reality for me right now and my family. When we got married, we knew that deployment would most likely be soon. We have managed a year and a half and now it is time.

Kyle and I married later in life and spent much of our first year and a half together learning how to be united as a couple. We have been learning how to release our selfishness for the sake of the other and how to live our lives as one instead of two. As romantic as movies and books make this sound- it is hard work! Totally worth it, but hard nonetheless. Now, as we face deployment we are thinking through the process of how do we remain as one despite the distance and our different lives? How do we not live as if we are single again? How do I honor my spouse through this process?

I share these thoughts mainly because it helps to say them aloud, but also to offer a window into the life of a military family. We both have people in our lives who are wonderful support and encouragers. Kyle actually knows multiple friends/family who will be deployed to the same base at the same time! Yeah, God! We know that God knows each day that we have and we trust Him with them. We are thankful for the opportunity to be stretched and challenged, but we are also grieving the loss of time not spent together. Thanks for your prayers as we embark on this new journey.