Cancer

Cancer. There are many thoughts and emotions that are connected to a word like cancer. Cancer has been making quite the appearance in the lives of my friends lately. The Rexer family has been walking the path of leukemia and just last Friday a family at the Hospitality House announced her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. In the last week, I can think of at least six friends who have asked prayer for family or friends recently diagnosed. It seems to be unavoidable.

Lydia was my first real experience with cancer. She used to be the Financial Aid lady at the college I attended. When I first met Lydia, I thought she was a little harsh and unflexible. I mean she talked to you straight about whether or not you really had the money to pay for your college education. What was your plan? Needless to say, I ended up in Lydia's office more than once explaining that I had no idea where the money was going to come from. I had enrolled for college too late and missed most of the scholarships and my savings and four jobs could only carry me so far. She would pat me on the back and say, "Don't worry about it. God will provide. I'll see if I can find any other scholarships for you." Miraculously, when I would go to pay my bill there was a "Needy Student Scholarship" applied to my account and I would sigh and wipe a tear as I thanked God for lifting me through another semester.

After I graduated from college, I was privileged enough to work at the University as an employee for several years. There were a smattering of other women who worked together pretty closely, including Lydia, and we enjoyed eating lunch together from time to time. I remember Red Lobster was a favorite for everyone, I mean who can say "No." to those cheddar biscuits? As I got to know these women and the inner workings of the University a little better, that is when I began to put the pieces together. The "Needy Student Scholarship" was actually the Lydia scholarship. Even now it brings tears to my eyes as I recognize that Lydia and her husband were beacons that pointed me to worship Jehovah Jireh- My Provider. Without those scholarships, I am unsure of whether or not I would have completed my college education.

When Lydia died of cancer, it hit me really hard. Not that we were really close, but knowing that there would now be students who would have to drop out of school because there was no "Needy Student Scholarship". It hit me hard because I never chose to say "Thank you" in person. It hit me hard because Lydia loved Jesus and was doing a good work...why would He take her home early?

Cancer produces a lot of hard questions. Questions that cannot be ignored. I do not pretend to have all or any of the answers, but I do wholly place my trust in the God who is the Creator of life. I do believe that Lydia is with her Savior, free of the pain of this life. I entrust my life to Him and I am thankful He meets me where I'm at...even in the midst of hard questions.

[Psa 139:1-10 ESV] - To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.