It's Really Happening

It was Thursday. We were leaving for our vacation on Friday. Preparations were in full swing: laundry, packing, taking out the trash, watering plants, etc. I went to bed feeling pretty ready for our trip. I did my best not to let those thoughts of last minute items slip into my mind and keep sleep from my weary body. "How I need this vacation!", I thought to myself. "How we need this vacation.", I corrected myself. As Kyle got home from work around 7:30am, I was hurriedly trying to get our luggage to the door. I was focused on our trip, on details like if we packed the GPS when Kyle asked me, "Hey! Guess what I got at work today?". I distractedly said, "I don't know- what?" "My deployment paperwork." Everything stopped. I fought to look unaffected and to keep the tears from my eyes. It's really happening. He is really leaving. Even now it is impossible to keep the tears from running down my cheeks, but I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be a good wife and support my husband as he does his job well and does his part to protect our beloved country. "I guess our vacation is good timing.", I responded thinking, "I can put this off for another ten days."

Unfortunately, the vacation is over. The week after we returned was very difficult for me. I cried every day for one reason or another. As I write this, Kyle is in his deployment training where they make sure all his paperwork is in order (will, power of attorney, etc.) and tell him what he needs to bring with him. It's really happening. I know there are many women and families who have done this before us, but that doesn't change the reality for me right now and my family. When we got married, we knew that deployment would most likely be soon. We have managed a year and a half and now it is time.

Kyle and I married later in life and spent much of our first year and a half together learning how to be united as a couple. We have been learning how to release our selfishness for the sake of the other and how to live our lives as one instead of two. As romantic as movies and books make this sound- it is hard work! Totally worth it, but hard nonetheless. Now, as we face deployment we are thinking through the process of how do we remain as one despite the distance and our different lives? How do we not live as if we are single again? How do I honor my spouse through this process?

I share these thoughts mainly because it helps to say them aloud, but also to offer a window into the life of a military family. We both have people in our lives who are wonderful support and encouragers. Kyle actually knows multiple friends/family who will be deployed to the same base at the same time! Yeah, God! We know that God knows each day that we have and we trust Him with them. We are thankful for the opportunity to be stretched and challenged, but we are also grieving the loss of time not spent together. Thanks for your prayers as we embark on this new journey.

Misunderstood Ministers

Have you ever felt misunderstood? Sometimes is just bad communication, unspoken expectations, or assumptions- lots of assumptions. It seems there are many positions that lend themselves to misunderstandings...being a driver, a friend, a family member, a wife, a military member, a missionary.

I love Christmas music, and lately in my musings about misunderstood ministers I have reflected more deeply on Mary and how she must have been misunderstood. A young girl who willingly follows the Lord, in spite of all of the ways other people would judge her. She accepted the gift of mothering the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing what people would think about her. What a highly honorable position she accepted at a great cost! She truly gave everything she had to follow God: her reputation, her relationship with Joseph, her livelihood, even her physical body and the remaining years of her life. What a confusing life that must have been with no one who could ever fully understand her experiences. How confusing it must have been to give birth to her Savior, and yet to raise Him as her earthly son.

There are many Biblical examples that bring encouragement to the misunderstood and the complicated lives of people. I take great comfort in them. Living as a missionary has been one of the most grueling challenges I have ever experienced. There have been incredible highs being on the front lines of changed lives and watching God provide in seemingly impossible circumstances, as well as gut-wrenching lows of disappointment. I'm sure I will share more musings of a missionary in the future, but I would ask you to consider missionaries or ministers in your sphere of influence. Would you consider sending them a note, an email or a text to encourage them today? Those bits of encouragement go a long way!

Money=Fear? Another lesson on faith

Last week I was sharing about Cadence with a Sunday School class in Fort Wayne, Indiana. It was the first time in quite a while where I had the full hour to share what God is doing in the lives of women in Germany. I was a little nervous, as I think anyone speaking in front of people should be, but as the stories began to flow about the women I know in Germany and how God has proven Himself faithful...I sensed my heart begin to calm.

As a missionary of a faith-based organization, I am required to raise my own support to sustain ministry and life in Germany. There have been many challenges, often related to finances, but God has been incredibly faithful. Stories of amazing provision at just the right moment; stories that remind me that it is really NOT about the money, but whether or not I serve a faithful God.

I have a return ticket to head back to Germany on April 28th. I also have around $2500 of additional monthly support that must be raised in order for me to return on that plane. As I listen to the radio, the TV, people at the supermarket, even my pastor talk about the economic crisis and how we must all tighten our belts for the current times- my heart begins to fill with fear. Where in the world will this money come from? I am fortunate enough to have my current supporters stay with me- let alone additional supporters to join me. Such was the state of my heart and mind as I tried to focus on the sermon this Sunday morning.

We have been studying the book of Hebrews and talking about faith. The sermons have been incredibly applicable to this stage of my life. As we started reading Chapter 13, I sensed God saying, "Melissa, this is for you. Take heart."

13: 5-6, Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'

Fear is often associated with money, especially these days. However, God presence is always with us and He is the One who has given us everything we have and everything we need.

13:20-22, "Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

I have NO idea how God is going to provide the finances needed for me to return to Germany, but I trust that His plan is perfect and that He will be with me through it all, because His Word says so.