Thanksgiving 2013

The week before had been the worst yet, but often it is those seemingly impossible moments that make the unexpected sweet moments, even sweeter.

Before Kyle had even deployed, we knew that there was a chaplain and his wife who were stationed at the same base. We were thankful that Kyle would at least know a friendly face as he embarked on his deployment. As the days began to get closer to his departure, one of our friends suggested that I go stay with this family and visit Kyle. After they delightfully agreed to be my host, we were excited for this plan that had potential to make this deployment not seem like the end of life, as we knew it. Kyle left and life was hard, but we were able to use our Apple® hardware to stay in brief contact usually twice a day. We were “over the moon” when we actually got to “see each other’s faces” once a week during his day off. While this was not the way we envisioned spending half of our last year in Germany, it felt “manageable”. We were both much more heavily steeped in the Word and learning to rely more heavily on God and not each other (or ourselves).

The week before my visit was when everything just seemed to implode around us. Without going into details, we both were in very difficult situations, some personal and some with work. Our time of brief connection always seemed to overlap a meeting or Kyle’s sleep time (as he works overnights). I began to feel like I was drowning and how did this happen so fast? The night before I was hopping on a plane in hopes of visiting my husband who had been gone for the last six weeks, I began to think, “I may get down there and not even get to see him.” This was a real possibility. He had learned that his career field was not going to receive Thanksgiving or Christmas off. They were going to be regular workdays. That just seemed to suck the life out of Kyle, and in turn- me.

After several plane rides, I arrived in my first experience with a Middle Eastern country. There are many things I could tell you about that, but suffice it to say, I was very thankful to have such wonderful and knowledgeable hosts! When we arrived at their villa, I let Kyle know that I arrived. He immediately responded that they had been given the day of Thanksgiving off, but he was not allowed to leave base (because that requires paperwork that has been submitted and signed at least 72 hours in advance). What a bummer that I was finally here, so close, and I would still be celebrating Thanksgiving without him. However, we both praised the Lord that he had been given the day off! We enjoyed an hour of so of just chatting, since we had the freedom to do so. It was so fun, until he received a knock at his door. A coworker delivered an ominous email from his Chief that he was to report to his Chief’s office first thing in the morning. The mood was gone as Kyle began to rehearse the possibilities of this unexpected meeting. We prayed together and he agreed to text me the results in the morning.

Another time zone, multiple flights, an emotional week and staying up late talking to my husband made it a difficult morning to get out of bed. After my morning routine, I went to check my messages and I had received nothing. I wasn’t sure if I should be concerned or excited. Either way, I knew I would talk to him eventually…maybe he was still at work. People began to arrive to prepare the last minute details of our Thanksgiving feast, one of who was a friend from Ramstein. It was fun to exchange hugs and a familiarity that made it feel like I had family there for Thanksgiving. We chatted and waited for others to arrive. As the Chaplain walked in the door, I was floored to see Kyle right behind him. I didn’t know whether to squeal, run, cry or squeeze him ‘til there was nothing left. I opted for a little of each.

It will be a Thanksgiving to remember. As we sat around the table with people from all over the US and Sri Lanka, I thought about their families at home wishing they were there with them, and how incredibly thankful I was to be sitting there next to my deployed husband. He has gone back to work tonight, and I miss him already. As my dear, sweet, Kyle said, “No one can take away these precious hours we have had.” I don’t know if I will get to visit with him again during my time here, but I can’t help but be thankful.

Waiting Until the Right Time

I've begun to notice that I avoid blogging or posting of any kind when things are hard. I want to write about the happy stuff, the encouraging and funny stuff...not the "I didn't know it could hurt this much" stuff. This last week has been hard. Really hard. In typical Mel form, I avoided posting, emailing, etc. I just wanted to spend some time with God and tell Him how much life was hurting right now. That being said, we had some wonderful talks. The hurt continues, but at least I feel a little more free to be open.

Thank you to the many of you who reached out to me as I expressed my sadness regarding Kyle's upcoming deployment. It was so amazing and refreshing to see how God always gives me just what I need when I need it. It's so silly that I continue to be amazed at God being God, but I guess that's just my human perspective that can't fully wrap my head around Who He is. :)

One of the projects that I've recently brought back to the front burner is organizing my college papers and random resources that I've collected through the years. I have several boxes and plenty of computer files that really aren't serving me any purpose except taking up space...so, I've begun slowly tackling the files. As I was going through some random sermon notes and outlines, I stumbled on some notes from a workshop I took with PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel) entitled "Perseverance 101: Who is this God Who Sent My Spouse Away on Deployment?" When I took it back in 2007, it was because I felt that I needed some perseverance and it couldn't hurt to have a little more insight into the military world. I haven't looked at that material again until now and how who would have ever thought I would be one of those wives needing encouragement??? God did.

This week Kyle started back on the day shift- I think that will be a huge help to our schedule and our marriage. We still have lots of paperwork to do in preparation, things like "Power of Attorneys", "wills", and ordering firewood and oil for the winter. It's a little overwhelming at times, but at least it keeps our minds busy?

We are seeking to stay active in our local community...having friends over to play nerdy games, babysitting, worship practice, small groups, etc. I don't know how folks make it without the support of others. So, THANK YOU to the many of you out there who love us and aren't afraid to let us know. We are so thankful for a God Who loves us, holds us close and blesses us with people to be His hands and feet.

It's Really Happening

It was Thursday. We were leaving for our vacation on Friday. Preparations were in full swing: laundry, packing, taking out the trash, watering plants, etc. I went to bed feeling pretty ready for our trip. I did my best not to let those thoughts of last minute items slip into my mind and keep sleep from my weary body. "How I need this vacation!", I thought to myself. "How we need this vacation.", I corrected myself. As Kyle got home from work around 7:30am, I was hurriedly trying to get our luggage to the door. I was focused on our trip, on details like if we packed the GPS when Kyle asked me, "Hey! Guess what I got at work today?". I distractedly said, "I don't know- what?" "My deployment paperwork." Everything stopped. I fought to look unaffected and to keep the tears from my eyes. It's really happening. He is really leaving. Even now it is impossible to keep the tears from running down my cheeks, but I wanted to be brave. I wanted to be a good wife and support my husband as he does his job well and does his part to protect our beloved country. "I guess our vacation is good timing.", I responded thinking, "I can put this off for another ten days."

Unfortunately, the vacation is over. The week after we returned was very difficult for me. I cried every day for one reason or another. As I write this, Kyle is in his deployment training where they make sure all his paperwork is in order (will, power of attorney, etc.) and tell him what he needs to bring with him. It's really happening. I know there are many women and families who have done this before us, but that doesn't change the reality for me right now and my family. When we got married, we knew that deployment would most likely be soon. We have managed a year and a half and now it is time.

Kyle and I married later in life and spent much of our first year and a half together learning how to be united as a couple. We have been learning how to release our selfishness for the sake of the other and how to live our lives as one instead of two. As romantic as movies and books make this sound- it is hard work! Totally worth it, but hard nonetheless. Now, as we face deployment we are thinking through the process of how do we remain as one despite the distance and our different lives? How do we not live as if we are single again? How do I honor my spouse through this process?

I share these thoughts mainly because it helps to say them aloud, but also to offer a window into the life of a military family. We both have people in our lives who are wonderful support and encouragers. Kyle actually knows multiple friends/family who will be deployed to the same base at the same time! Yeah, God! We know that God knows each day that we have and we trust Him with them. We are thankful for the opportunity to be stretched and challenged, but we are also grieving the loss of time not spent together. Thanks for your prayers as we embark on this new journey.