I have been loving my journaling Bible! Each day as I read, I write random things I observe or things that come to mind in the lined margins. It's been a great tool that helps me engage a little bit more and is fun to see themes throughout my readings. Today as I was reading Matthew 8-9, I found myself emotionally entangled with the events Jesus was facing. The first 18 verses are people who come to Him for healing, and he does so IMMEDIATELY. The next grouping of verses are some disciples who ask if He could give them a little time to take care of family business, and He says, "No, follow me." Then the next section is the disciples heading across the sea and He calms the storm. The disciples response is "What kind of MAN is this?" Once they cross the sea, He casts some demons into pigs, the townspeople get all worked up about it and BEG Him to leave their region! Whew! That's quite a couple of days!
Jesus had compassion on people and was touched by their faith. I imagine these quiet, deeply personal moments with them as He heals them or their loved ones and they are immensely grateful. He then steps out into the city where He is judged by the Pharisees and other people are constantly talking about His ministry. Then on top of it, some of the very people that He has healed, ignore His request to be quiet and they share their experiences with Jesus across the region.
The last couple of months have been quite emotional for me. There have been a lot of events where I have been concerned that people had misunderstood my motives and that my reputation was questioned by people around me. I don't know if you're anything like me, but when I start feeling like there is whisperings going on about me- I want to stop it and put an end to the rumors...whatever they might be. These chapters were such a good reminder for me. Whatever we face in our lives, Jesus has faced them before (and probably to a much greater degree). He was deeply loved by people, but He was also deeply despised. People questioned His motives and His authority all the time, even in His own hometown. He was rejected by many and even had people BEG Him to leave their region. How disheartening that must have felt.
There are so many times where I feel alone. Alone in ministry or in singleness or life in general, and it is such a wonderful reminder that my Savior and Lord has walked that path before me, and I am truly never alone.
Hang in there, sis... God's not finished with us yet! When it's time and we get HOME, it will be worth it all. We can't fully understand that now, but knowing we WILL understand it someday and trusting in the GOOD hand of God can spur us on, loving, talking, walking, and working for our King Jesus! Love you, and I'm praying for you.
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