Everyone who has been part of a community knows that you develop your own sense of identity, that your group looks at the world through a slightly different lens and that is part of what brings you together. Last night I was brusquely reminded of one of the lenses that a military community looks through, allow me to start from the beginning...
The leaves are already starting to change on a few trees, school supplies are out at the BX and I am thrilled for the chilly mornings as I sigh, "Ah, I love fall!" It's not quite fall yet, but the signs are everywhere and that is my favorite time of year. Along with fall comes the highly anticipated celebration of my 1st wedding anniversary and yet another birthday, both of which I unwittingly had high expectations. I don't know if it's because we waited so long to get married or because EVERY girl imagines how romantic her 1st anniversary will be, but somehow I had imagined this special evening with my husband that made me feel like a blushing bride again. Well, my fanciful daydreams were brought to a crushing halt when my husband informed me that the base would be having an exercise for two weeks over our anniversary. Now, for you non-military folks, this means 12+ hour shifts (usually with no days off) and lots of extra duties, as well as, being called at anytime to come back to base for a surprise inspection or some other interesting activity. A base exercise basically means I get to see my husband for some meals and watch him crawl into bed exhausted. The good news is that the exercise will be done before my birthday...oh wait, I'll be gone for a Cadence women's conference during that time.
Disappointment enveloped me and like any other woman, I sought solace from a group of friends. During our worship practice on Thursday nights, we gather for a time of prayer. As I shared my disappointment, the room was filled with chatter as everyone starts telling stories, "Oh that's nothing, we haven't been able to celebrate ______________(fill in the blank)." One woman told us she didn't get to celebrate her first seven anniversaries with her husband! Needless to say, I didn't feel a whole lot of comfort. ;)
I laughed when I got home and talked with Kyle about it. I have known this outlook on life to be true for military folks around the world. One of the most challenging and difficult aspects of serving our country across the seas or away from home is missing those monumental or important moments. It is just a different experience when it is ME in the front seat of this experience! As I begin to more fully understand the experiences of military spouses across the world, I am once again reminded that military families make many sacrifices too. Thank you to our military men, women and those who support them around the world! My respect for you only continues to grow.
Meanwhile, I am sure Kyle and I will find a special way to celebrate our 1st anniversary, and I will learn to let go of my expectations one day at a time.
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